Last night I shot Santa! - citizenstuart

Last night I shot Santa!

My gun club had its annual Christmas Fun Shoot last night. Being as it was free to enter, and I hadn't taken part in a club competion before, I decided to go along and have a go. The match was due to start dead on 7.00pm. Unusually, I got there about ten minutes early and was pleasantly surprised to see that a free buffet had been laid on. As people arrived, they were asked to write their names on a list and we took turns shooting the match in the order we were listed (I was Number 4). I'd better describe the club. There are two parts to it. The club room has a small kitchen and a large area for sitting around, chatting and reading (also a snooker table and a dartboard). The other part of the club is an indoor 25m range with four firing points. There's a window in the wall between the club room and the range, but it was curtained off last night so that no-one would know what the course of fire was until it was their turn.

As I was the fourth to register, I didn't have long to wait before my turn came to compete. I was given a set of active ear defenders and sent into the range. I went in and found that the firing lanes had been decorated with Christmas presents and suchlike and at each firing point there was a different gun lying ready. I was given a set of instructions which started "A fat man in a red suit with a long white beard has been seen burgling houses by going down chimneys and is suspected of sneaking into children's bedrooms and stealing their presents. You are authorised to stop him using any level of force necessary. The only reliable way to kill him is with a head shot." Yes! Detailed instructions followed. There was a different set of targets set up at each firing position. Starting from the right-hand lane and finishing at the left-hand lane I had to go through the course of fire as quickly as possible. Timing would start when I fired the first shot. I was shown how each gun worked and what I had to do.

On the first lane I was confronted with a cardboard cut-out of a reindeer with a pair of targets behind it which spun on a mechanism behind its head so that they'd appear between the antlers and move rapidly from right to left before disappearing again. I had a semi-automatic .22 rifle of some kind with a red dot sight (probably a Ruger 10-22, but I'm not sure) and ten rounds. I had to hit the targets as they moved between the antlers. Fiendish! I did my best but only counted nine shots (I may have accidentally ejected the first round). Confused, I at first assumed I'd had a jam, but realised the gun was empty and quickly moved onto the second lane. It was on that first round that I probably lost the most time, but I think I did reasonably OK - three or four hits on the target.

The second round involved a break-barrel single-shot .357 rifle - I don't know the type. There were three rounds of ammunition lying on the table next to the gun and three reactive targets downrange. These were about the size of a saucer and were designed to go down when hit. I had to shoot down all three targets as quickly as possible. Because of the design of the gun I had to load each round individually, fire it, eject the spent shell, and load the next round. I hit all three targets, which surprised me.

Moving on to the third lane, there were three more reactive targets, but this time the weapon was a Taurus 7-shot long-barreled revolver, already loaded with six rounds of .357. Long-barreled revolvers have gained a certain amount of popularity in Britain since the unjustified 1997 pistol ban, because they're a good way of getting round it. The difference between an LBR and a conventional revolver is that an LBR has a barrel length of at least 30cm and an overall length of at least 60cm - this is usually achieved by having a bar or wrist brace going back from the grip to make up the full length, keeping it out of the "banned" category. Apart from the unusually long length it's just like a "proper" revolver. This Taurus had a wrist brace, which was unfortunately left-handed, but the revolver was easy to use, and not as front-heavy as I expected it to be. I had up to six shots to shoot down all three reactive targets - it only took three shots, no problem. It's almost a pity that I didn't need all six shots, because it was the first time I'd shot a breach-loading pistol since my last holiday in Florida in 1999. I'll buy an LBR myself one day, when I can afford it, unless the pistol ban is repealed first.

The fourth and final stage confronted me with another cardboard cut-out, this time of Santa himself, missing the head. This time the weapon was a modern muzzle-loading single-shot pistol - one of the guys running the match said it was an Ardesa, I think. I don't know the calibre, but it was probably a .44 or .45. The idea of this stage was that as soon as I called "ready", a balloon representing Santa's head would pop up behind the cut-out and I had one shot to hit it with the pistol. The timing would stop as soon as I fired the shot. So I picked up the pistol, aimed at a spot above Santa's neck, called "ready", the balloon popped up in just the right place, I took the shot and no more Santa! Piece of cake.

During the whole course of fire, some demented Christmas carol was playing in the background, just to add to the atmosphere.

I reckoned I'd done reasonably OK, apart from the first round, but it was a couple of hours before everyone had shot the match, and in the meantime I relaxed in the club room, chatting to the other members and helping myself to sausage rolls, pork pies and mince pies.

I didn't expect to win the match, so it was no surprise when I didn't. First prize went to a teenage boy (he got a voucher to use at the gunshop). Out of the sixteen people competing, I came tenth, which I reckon isn't bad. The lowest score was 50 points, the highest score was about 150, I got 100 points. Most importantly, it was a lot of fun and a good antidote to Christmas. I'll definitely do it again next year!

21.12.04 17:08

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